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Coming Back to Ourselves: Reconnecting with Our True Paths
In the midst of the noise and expectations of the world, it’s easy to lose sight of who we truly are. From an early age, we are shaped by external messages about who we should be, what we should strive for, and how we should feel. Society, family, and even well-meaning influences can steer us away from our own internal compass. Over time, these layers of expectation can obscure our core selves, leaving us feeling disconnected, uncertain, and unfulfilled.
The Organismic Self: Who We Truly Are
At our core, we each have an organismic self - the authentic, natural part of us that knows what we need to grow, thrive, and feel fulfilled. This self exists from birth, instinctively guiding us toward experiences that align with our well-being and steering us away from harm. It’s deeply connected to our own valuing system - our inner sense of what feels right or wrong, what nourishes us, and what doesn’t.
But as we grow, we often lose touch with this intuitive part of ourselves.
Family expectations, social norms, and cultural messages can become so loud that our organismic self is drowned out.
Our upbringing plays a significant role in this process. Families can be nurturing and supportive, but they can also, often unknowingly, instil limiting beliefs or unrealistic expectations. We might learn to dismiss our own needs to meet the desires of others or adapt to avoid criticism and rejection. We stop trusting our own judgment and begin relying on external approval to define our choices, feelings, and worth. Slowly, we begin to live by external standards rather than our own.
Signs You’ve Strayed from Your Authentic Self
It can be hard to recognize when you’ve moved away from your authentic self because it happens gradually, almost imperceptibly. Here are some common signs:
🌿You feel a persistent sense of dissatisfaction or emptiness.
Even when life seems to be going well on the surface, something feels “off” or unfulfilling.
🌿You seek external validation more than your own inner approval.
You prioritize what others think over what you truly feel and desire.
🌿You struggle with indecision or people-pleasing.
It’s hard to make choices because you’re disconnected from your own needs and afraid of disappointing others.
🌿You experience emotional numbness or a loss of direction.
When you suppress your authentic desires for too long, you may stop feeling much of anything at all.
🌿You struggle with anxiety.
The persistent conflict between what you want to do versus what you feel you should do, can result in an ongoing feeling of anxiousness.
Reconnecting with Your True Self
Reconnecting with your organismic self is a process of unlearning external conditioning and rebuilding trust in your internal valuing system. Here are some steps to help you return to yourself:
🌿Create Space for Self-Reflection
Spend time with yourself in a quiet, non-judgmental space. Journaling, mindfulness, or simply sitting with your thoughts can help you reconnect with how you truly feel and what you need.
🌿Notice the Shoulds
Pay attention to how often your thoughts and decisions are influenced by “should.” These are usually external voices guiding you. Ask yourself, Is this what I want, or what I’ve been taught to want?
🌿Reconnect with Your Body
Our bodies are deeply connected to our authentic selves. Emotions, intuition, and desires often show up physically. Practices like yoga, breathwork, or body scanning can help you tune into what your body is telling you.
🌿Explore Your Desires
Think back to times when you felt most alive and connected to yourself. What were you doing? What brought you joy? Revisit those experiences and consider how they can be part of your life again.
🌿Therapy: A Safe Space to Shed
Sometimes the layers that have been placed on us are heavy and deeply ingrained. Therapy can help you unpack these experiences, reconnect with your core self, and practice trusting your own judgment again. It’s a space for exploration, healing, and rediscovery - free from the expectations and pressures of the outside world.
Trusting Your Internal Valuing Process
At the heart of returning to your true self is learning to trust your own internal valuing process. This means making choices based on what feels right for you, even if it doesn’t match the expectations of others. It means trusting your instincts, knowing that your organismic self is always guiding you toward what you need to grow and thrive.
As you begin to shed external layers and tune into your authentic desires, you’ll find that your path becomes clearer. You’ll make decisions that align with your values, experience greater fulfilment, and reconnect with the person you’ve always been at your core.
Coming back to yourself is not a one-time event, it’s a lifelong practice.
But with each step,
you’ll feel a little more whole,
a little more free,
and a little more you.
