The brain
& understanding the stress response
How Your Brain Shapes Everyday Life:
If you've ever found yourself reacting strongly during a conversation with your partner or feeling anxious over a neutral work email, you're not alone. These responses are often driven by the way our brain processes information, especially if you already have a heightened stress response. To understand why this happens, it helps to look at how the different parts of the brain work together.
The Three Key Players in Your Brain
🌿 The Brainstem. The brainstem, also referred to as the reptilian brain, is the most primitive part of our brain. It governs essential survival functions like breathing, heart rate, digestion, and reflexive reactions. This is the first part of our brain to have evolved and it's the part that functions when we are born. It’s always "on" and ready to spring into action when a threat arises.
🌿 The Limbic System Just above the brainstem sits the limbic system, sometimes called the "mammalian brain", because all animals who nurture their young and live in groups have it. It’s responsible for processing emotions, forming memories, and guiding social behavior. The amygdala, a key part of this system, acts as the brain’s alarm system, always scanning for threats.
🌿 The Neocortex The neocortex is the most recently evolved part of the brain. It’s responsible for higher-order thinking, problem-solving, empathy, and self-control. This is where you logically assess situations, think about consequences, and plan your actions.
How It All Works Together
Our brain’s parts don’t work in isolation. They’re constantly communicating to help us respond to danger, process emotions, and make thoughtful choices. Here’s a look at how these parts interact — both when the brain is working smoothly and when heightened stress takes over.
Everyday Scenario: Receiving a Work Email
When the Brain is Balanced: You receive an email from your manager asking for a meeting. Your brainstem registers that you’ve received a notification. Your limbic system may prompt a mild emotional response, but your neocortex steps in to assess it logically. You remember that meetings are a regular part of work, so you feel calm as you prepare for it.
When You Have a Heightened Stress Response: The same email arrives, but your limbic system and amygdala become more active. It identifies the email as a possible "threat" due to past experiences of being criticized or caught off guard. Your brainstem prepares your body for survival, causing your heart rate to rise and your stomach to feel uneasy. Your neocortex’s logical thinking is bypassed as the amygdala’s alarm bells take over, leading to a feeling of dread or anxiety.
Everyday Scenario: A Conversation with Your Partner
When the Brain is Balanced: You and your partner discuss plans for the weekend. Your brainstem allows you to stay calm and present. Your limbic system may generate feelings of connection and warmth, while your neocortex helps you listen, understand their perspective, and contribute ideas.
When You Have a Heightened Stress Response: The conversation takes a different turn. Your partner’s tone shifts slightly, and your amygdala picks up on it as a potential threat. Your limbic system floods you with feelings of unease, and your body’s fight-or-flight response activates. Your heart may race, and you might interrupt or raise your voice. Your neocortex’s ability to think rationally is reduced because survival instincts have taken priority.
Why This Happens
Our brain’s "threat detection system" is essential for survival, and because of this, the input we receive sensorily is passed to the amygdala quicker than the neocortex. This ensures we can react instantly to danger, like jumping out of the way of an oncoming car, without having to cognitively process the action beforehand.
However, for people with a heightened stress response—often shaped by past trauma, chronic stress, or challenging life experiences—this system becomes overactive. This means that everyday, non-threatening situations, like an email or a partner’s tone, can trigger the brain’s survival mode which will react without input from the rational part of our brain.
The amygdala (part of the limbic system) sounds the alarm, signaling the hypothalamus (also limbic system) and brainstem to release stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to prepare us to fight or run, and the neocortex (rational brain) is temporarily overridden. It's as though the amygdala 'hijacks' control and logical thinking takes a back seat. This is why we might react before we’ve had time to think.
People with chronic stress, anxiety, or trauma may have a more sensitive amygdala and a weaker connection to the neocortex, meaning:
🌿They are more likely to react to mild triggers as if they were major threats.
🌿Their logical, reasoning abilities (neocortex) struggle to "regain control" as quickly after a perceived threat.
🌿This can lead to impulsive actions, difficulty calming down, or feelings of being "on edge" even in safe situations.
How to Calm Your Brain’s Threat Response
If you often find yourself reacting strongly to neutral situations, it’s a sign that your brain’s alarm system is on high alert. But you can train your brain to feel safer.
🌿 Grounding Techniques: When you feel a stress response kicking in, use grounding techniques to shift your focus back to the present moment. This could be as simple as focusing on your breathing, noticing five things you see around you, or feeling the texture of an object.
🌿Practise Mindfulness: Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment, with an awareness of your surroundings, thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment. This practice engages and strengthens the neocortex, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logical thinking, reasoning, emotional regulation, and decision-making. Whats more, Rrgular mindfulness practice has been shown to reduce activity in the amygdala and can help people with heightened stress responses feel more in control.
🌿 Label Your Emotions: Simply naming the emotion you’re feeling (e.g., "I’m feeling anxious") can activate your neocortex. This action alone can reduce the power of the amygdala’s alarm.
🌿 Build Self-Awareness: Pay attention to the patterns of your stress response. Notice the triggers and physical sensations that arise. Once you’re aware of them, you’ll be better equipped to interrupt the cycle.
🌿Practice Self-Compassion: If you’ve grown up in a high-stress environment or experienced trauma, your heightened threat response is not your fault. Be kind to yourself and recognize that your brain is doing its best to protect you.
🌿Seek Support: Therapy can help you work through the root causes of your heightened stress response and support you in understanding and reshaping these responses.
Remember, your brain is not broken—it’s just trying to keep you safe in the best way it knows how.